In search for deep personal connections

Our lives are fast paced. We run from place to place, from people to people, from stimulus to stimulus. That is how we live now. However, it is my belief that we didn’t evolve to deal with a time frame that we just flicker through. I believe, we, along with our minds and our social connections and our thought process, evolved through time frames that are longer lasting. Because of this day-and-age demanding from us quick interactions, I feel, we often move from interactions to interactions with a haste that’s unsuited to our intellectual craving, our spiritual growth and, deep personal connections. This disconnect prevents us from sharing our creative selves, our intimate selves with people that we cherish. Some of us maybe are more suited to deal with a disconnect from all three (intellectual craving, spiritual growth and deep personal connections). If you feel that such a disconnect is not preventing from being who you are, if this does not resonate with you, the rest of this piece is not for you. If, however, you feel what I say resonates with you, these words are for you.

If you have felt this disconnect (from fulfilling your intellectual cravings, from your spiritual growth, from deep personal connections), that ultimately results in a disconnect from one’s self, maybe you can associate with having thoughtful words to say, but not a time for it; having sonorous notes to sing, music to make, but not a time for it; having a creative urge to share, but not a time for it. When was the last time when you showed another friend a painting that you did, a creative photo that you took, a poem that you wrote, a song that you learned, a dance that you felt free in? Often, when we have these urges to share our creative sides, our true sides, our thoughtful sides, we decide not to for fear of getting hurt by negligence and by apathy. I suspect the negligence and apathy are products of living in an age where everything is rushed and of not having time. We are also burdened with a reductionist attitude (often prevalent in the Sciences, but also pervasive in the society at large) that wants a pointed, quick interaction and a quick thesis. Such interactions leave no room for mystery. As much as our friends like and admire us, we can’t demand their full, creative, thoughtful attention whenever we need it. So, we bottle up these sides of us and we’re stuck with this disconnect from our creative selves, our growth and that of the people we care about.

I think, to disengage from this disconnect that is forced upon us by the pace of our lives, we need to find a time that is slower, we need to create connections that are stronger, we need to locate a space where we are our intimate, creative selves.  This pursuit of a slower time, stronger connections and a creative space can be individual pursuits or can be a plural effort. Individual pursuits such as writing a song or writing a poem still need a plural appreciation to be meaningful. What is a word if not cherished and understood by another? What is a note, a melody if not cherished and received by another? The pursuit of creative, intimate selves via finding a space and a suitable pace of time is still a plural effort, because it is via the appreciation by others that our words and songs and dances and paintings find meaning. So, here I arrive at my thesis: for our intellectual and spiritual growth to exercise self-expression, we need a slower pace of time, a safe space via the establishment of deep and real connections.

How do we create this magical place where we are who we are and we say what we truly want to say? I don’t have a complete vision for the exact steps to take to get rid of the disconnect that I keep alluding to. But as a simple first step, I propose that we meet with people with a similar intention periodically to slow down time, to share our creative selves and build the connections that make us truly human. It is a pursuit as individual it can be and still be plural by each of us mutually admiring the individual pursuits. Is it an intentional community I talk about? Possibly, maybe. Must we have an agenda? No, because it is a time and a space without agenda that we seek. So, I ask you to come, sit by me and sing the song that has you enchanted for the last while. So, I ask you to come, sit by me and listen to the poem that just came out from my heart being wrung like a rag. So, I ask you: come, sit by me and let's slow down time around us and appreciate how truly magnificent it is that we intentionally appreciate each other’s creativity. All this will only make us more human.